FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT—SELF-CONTROL
We were leaving church at St. Benedict. Frustrations over the commitment I made to be baptized in the Catholic faith were bubbling over. Submitting my conversation to God, I clearly heard Him tell me to be quiet and mind my business. My desire to be heard and cause Credo the same disruption I was feeling superseded my ability to exercise obedience and self-control. After some words that lacked tact, grace, and respect, Credo postured himself and his heart in a defensive way that showed me how I had bruised and mishandled him. In the moments that followed I realized God will always know, love, and protect Credo more than me. First, because He is perfect, and second, because Credo is his son before He ever became my lover or my husband. Furthermore, my connection to God allows me to deal with Credo in a specific way, a divine way, that is unachievable through my own fleshly observation. I can deal with him spirit to spirit because God is the one informing and directing my steps.
My husband is not the only person I am called to exercise self-control with. Everyone I come into contact with can experience and benefit from my ability to exercise self-control. Just like Credo, any person I meet, belongs to God before they ever cross my path. So, I am able to be still, to speak, to wait, to hold my tongue if that is what I am called to do because God knows far more than me. Without Him I will never know how to handle, how to love, and how to deal with His children.
SELF-CONTROL works in tandem with every other fruit of the spirit
A biblical definition of self-control reads as the virtue of one who masters his desires and passions, especially his sensual appetites. A divine level of command, power, and/or dominance has to be introduced in order to master my desires or passions. In my flesh, no matter how considerate or thoughtful I believe myself to be, there is nothing good in me apart from God. Anything remotely good that I think I can find is a reflection of God because I was made in His image and likeness, so again, not of myself, everything is in Him and belongs to Him.
When considering fruit like peace, gentleness, long-suffering, kindness, and love there is a great deal of self-control required in order to live these out. Let’s consider Abraham, Sarai, and Hagar (Genesis 16). God promised to give Abraham a son, and when it didn’t happen in the time frame Abraham wanted he decided that he was going to move on God’s behalf. His desire for a son, his passion for seeing God’s promise, His desire for things to happen in a way that made sense to him mastered his ability to exercise self-control and rest in the peace that God had already given years before. Moving before God, allowing our desires, spiritually based or not, to rule our behavior is problematic. Everything must come under submission of Jesus. Your desire for more—submit it. Your desire for God to move—submit it. Your desire for God’s justice—submit it. Your desire for motherhood—submit it. Your desire for an answer—submit it. Your desire for marriage—submit it. Your desire for financial increase—y’all know the drill..submit it!
Let’s consider Peter, Jesus’s roughest rider, Jesus already told Peter that He was going to die and eventually they’d meet again. When Jesus was getting arrested, Peter whipped out his sword and cut one of the guard’s ears off (John 18:8-12). The sole purpose of Jesus’s coming was manifesting before the eyes of everyone and instead of submitting he chose his own way. Peter’s righteous indignation, passionate protection and anger for Jesus mastered His ability to exercise self-control and submit to the call and word on Jesus’s life. Peter did not act in love, did not act gently, did not act kindly, and definitely did not have any self-control.
Lacking control of my desires and passions put me in rooms, positions, and relationships i should have never been in
Now, we know all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). We also know that He withholds no good thing from those who walk uprightly (Psalms 84:11). We also know we have the freedom to do and be whoever we wish, and God does not take our choices from us. My desire to be accepted, validated, loved, wanted, and seen had me in a major and a career path I wasn’t passionate about. Friendships and romantic relationships that made absolutely no sense. Literally had me having sex for the first time at 24 just to meet my husband the following year and get married. What we do outside of the will of God has consequences. What we allow to rule our thoughts and actions have consequences. What we choose to let control us by lack of submission to God has consequences. Submitting our desires to the only person who can put a muzzle on them and redefine them is the only way to access Godly self-control that lasts and withstands.
jESUS DISPLAYED THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF SELF-CONTROL WHEN HE HUMBLED HIMSELF TO COME TO EARTH AND BE CRUCIFIED.
Speaking in parables in the New Testament, using imagery to capture the essence of heavenly ideas, and everyone STILL being confused must have been exhausting. Explaining to teachers and Pharisees that He was the Messiah, while they plotted to kill Him, EXHAUSTING. Washing the feet of the very person who would betray Him, EXHAUSTING-ER. We struggle to grasp the concept of living forever without an existential crisis, yet Jesus walked daily, denying His divine power, dumbing Himself down so that we can have the chance at real revelation, allowing people to act against Him, and submitting any fleshly desire to react. He then chose to lay down His life on the cross. Let the record reflect: nobody took His life (John 10:18). He could have blinked the whole world into Hell and sat right next to God, fully justified. Instead, He submitted His desires and passions to God's will. By doing so, we all have the opportunity to live and not surely die.
We are without excuse. As believers, lacking self-control is a willful choice that will inevitably affect our ability to hear, connect, and follow Christ. Moreover, we have the perfect example of mastering passions, submitting ourselves to God's will through prayer, forsaking our desires, and aligning with His in the life of Christ.
