IN ALL OUR WAYS
My mom has given me so much in life—a full picture of Christian living, unconditional love, solicited and unsolicited advice, and a body for days. If a coke bottle frame with a natural BBL booty needed a face—Mary Elizabeth Allen would be it. Growing up, as some of the baby weight moved from my stomach to my thighs and breasts, well, I wasn’t the only one who noticed. A girl in my dance class starting calling me “Thickems” anytime she saw me. During volleyball season, I became aware of the growing attention I’d get for the way my spandex shorts hugged and tightly gripped my hips, making me a little curious. And, when I would take pictures that I was too afraid to send, a jealousy and appreciation for my body started to form.
It was a twisted relationship—though my body was a part of me, the compliments never came for my smile or my face, only my hips and frame. I desperately wanted attention, so showing my stomach a bit more or pulling pencil skirt up after my mom dropped me off at school just made sense. But, every time someone praised my body, I couldn’t help but feel like they hated my face.
When I got to college, my mom knew—just like I did—that I was about to act a donkey. I wasn’t really into drinking or smoking, but I was more than ready to make up for all those years she made me wear undershirts and modest clothes. With more freedom, my relationship with my body and clothing worsened, and the conviction I felt came in waves. After graduation, I moved back home, giving my mom plenty of chances to grill me about how I dressed.
One day, as I got ready to go out with Alyssa, she looked me up and down and said, "So, how are you acknowledging God with this outfit?"
I glanced at myself in the mirror, then turned to her and said, "I wasn’t thinking about God when I put this on."
"In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path," she replied, then added with a smirk, "And He’d probably direct you to put them titties up, I’m sure."
That phrase became a common refrain for my mom when we lived together, and even now, it still comes up. Recently, in a mini message and testimony she shared, she encouraged me—and several other women—to acknowledge God in all things. Not just the areas we’ve deemed "safe" for Him to handle, but in every single decision we make. Whether it’s an outfit or a conversation, a purchase or a class, returning to school or going to the grocery store, a relationship ending or beginning—every aspect of our lives should include God.
“whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, But he who hates correction is stupid.” proverbs 12:1 NKJV.
As we grow up and increase our independence from our parents, there’s a natural shift that takes place. We no longer wait for them to cook for us—we learn to cook on our own. We stop asking them to bathe us—we do it ourselves. We let go of their hands and take steps on our own. At some point, though, I think we project that same independence onto our relationship with God. We assume that because we know enough about men or women, we can choose our own partners. We think we’re wise enough to discern intentions and pick our friends. We trust ourselves to know our hearts and choose our careers. But no matter how much wisdom, knowledge, or understanding we gain, there is no point in life that justifies independence from God.
Spiritual growth doesn’t lead to self-sufficiency; it leads to deeper dependence on Him. As we mature spiritually, the questions we ask change. We move from “Is this a sin?” to “How can I honor God in this?” We transition from “Why is this happening to me?” to “Thank you, God, for making me more like Jesus in this moment.” We stop asking for signs and start asking, “What has God already said about this in His Word?” We advance in a way that allows God to move more freely in us, speak more clearly to us, and trust us with more spiritually. But the day we get to let go of God’s hand and yell “I got it from here!” will never come. Complete dependence on Him is something we can never outgrow.
“The [reverent] fear of the Lord [that is, worshiping Him and regarding Him as truly awesome] is the beginning and the preeminent part of wisdom [its starting point and its essence], And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding and spiritual insight.” proverbs 9:10 [amp]
A lot of the heartbreaking issues of life stemmed from a foolish confidence in myself and my ability to do things without God. It isn’t that I didn’t think He could do it or that He didn’t have a good contribution to the conversation—I just thought I was grown. The freedom was tempting and alluring. I know Him enough to handle this on my own. I have ridden the coattail of my mom’s faith for long enough to know what God would probably say. I am wise enough to make a good decision. There is a pride that comes with experience and age. There is a humility and softness that remains in childhood, an appreciation and constant looking to your trusted person because you know they have exactly what you need. God is our forever trusted person—and we are called to remain as humble, soft, and needy that we were when we He first revealed Himself to us as Father.
So. piggybacking off of the best bible teacher—Mary Allen— I know, let’s get into what God says about trust and acknowledging Him.
Proverbs 3:5-8 [AMP] Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart
And do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
What should our daily response to God be?
Trust, reliance, and confidence. In a natural sense, trust is developed through knowledge, time, and experience. I was confident that my mom would bring up God in every single conversation because of my knowledge of her, time spent with her, and understanding of her character. We are able to trust, rely, and increase our confidence in God when we increase our knowledge of Him, time spent with Him, and understanding of His character. How do we do that? Read the bible.
Complete surrender. As we have learned previously, there is no middle. Any part of our hearts that we don’t allow God to touch, is a playground for deception, darkness, and the enemy.
Humility. God will always know more, do more, and give more than us. It will take us a lifetime to do something it takes God a second to do. He is better, wiser, and more creative than us. Pride will keep you striving and bumping your head in an area God has already given you dominion and power over.
In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way].
What do learn about the relationship between our reliance and God’s response to it?
There is a connection between our reliance and His ability to move in our lives. Knowing, acknowledging, and recognizing God in all of our ways will impact our choices, desires, and behaviors. Our choices, desires, and behaviors place us in rooms, situations, and relationships that God designed specifically for us or allowed to happened to us. In either situation, His will and our good will be achieved, but the way we learn lessons and the heartbreaks we along the way can be dictated by us.
There is a peace accompanied with relying on God. We make educated guesses everyday. We get good enough results. God has perfect results and full knowledge of everything that can and will go on in life. What a peace we can have when trust in God.
Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord [with reverent awe and obedience] and turn [entirely] away from evil.
What is our warning and instruction?
Don’t be prideful. In other words, don’t get too grown and use your freedom to walk out of the will and presence of God. Pride comes before a fall [Proverbs 16:18]. Peter was prideful in His devotion and loyalty to Jesus—He fell into betrayal shortly after. Moses was prideful, fell, and didn’t go into the Promise Land. The Children of Israel were prideful and were enslaved several times shortly after. Confidence in ourselves will always disappoint, betray, and mislead us.
Revere the Lord and turn away from evil. Bible reading tip: the order of things matter. It could have told us to turn away from evil and fear the Lord. The emphasis would then be on us to cause ourselves to turn, but we see that reverence, obedience, and amazement of God comes first. Out of that place we are empowered through God to turn away from evil.
It will be health to your body [your marrow, your nerves, your sinews, your muscles—all your inner parts] And refreshment (physical well-being) to your bones.
What is the benefit of complete reliance on God?
Good health and refreshing. Our stress, anxiety, fear, and emotional distress can drastically decrease when we choose to fully acknowledge and rely on God in everything.
“There are many plans in a man’s heart, nevertheless the lord’s counsel—that will stand.” proverbs 19:21 [nkjv]
The hardest part of my heart to surrender was the one that craved love and romantic relationship. It was a desire I’d lay down, pick back up, and lay down again, repeating the cycle over and over. When I entered my last relationship before Credo, the day after I said yes, my mom asked, “So, what are you hearing God say?” At the time, my ability to tune in to God’s voice was patchy at best, but in that moment, I quickly and clearly responded, “I think He’s saying He has more for me.” She nodded, affirming that I was hearing Him, turning my uncertainty into complete assurance. Yet, I stalled—telling God I didn’t need more, I just needed this relationship to work. I convinced myself he was good enough, funny enough, suitable enough for me to make it work. So, I clung to that relationship for a year and a half before finally trusting God fully with that part of my heart.
Shortly after the breakup, Credo and I started talking on Instagram. It was sweet, and I thought it was exactly what I needed. But in the midst of things heating up, I heard another whisper: Not now. Like clockwork, my mom asked me again, “What do you hear God saying about this one?” This time, with more confidence, I replied, “He said not now.” I stalled for a few more days, but eventually, my mom called and asked if I was going to be obedient. And this time, I was. I sent Credo a voice note, which he didn’t respond to, and I let it go—fully trusting, fully acknowledging God with my obedience and my heart.
Well, Credo is my husband now, so we see what trust and surrender can do. For me, it was love and relationship. For others, it might be success, wealth, motherhood, or career aspirations. Whatever it is—every desire, every part of our hearts—offers us opportunities to trust, acknowledge, and lean on God instead of our own will and understanding. Every step of the way, we are invited to surrender and let Him guide us toward what He’s always had in mind.
