LOVE, LOVE, LOVE
I had a knack for emotionally unavailable people for a long time. On the surface, I chalked it up to the allure of mystery and elusiveness. The lack of clarity—while it inevitably led to the breakup or dissolution of friendship—was something I enjoyed for a while. After a few months in therapy, my therapist pointed out that it wasn’t the mystery or elusiveness that drew me to these people. The "work" I enjoyed in digging and searching within these relationships, and the performative ways I would try to prove myself, wasn’t “just because”. My worth, my value, my esteem had been tethered to the pursuit and validation from them. Their lack of acknowledgement was evidence to reinforce what I already believed, I am not enough.
The lengths we go to overcompensate for the self-hatred we carry can be a mystery, even to ourselves. It’s hard to discern what is truly part of who we are and what we use as bargaining chips for love and validation. We auction off our bodies and hearts for a fleeting sense of belonging, acceptance, desire, or value. It feels instinctual, this deep need for love and connection—almost as if we were designed that way. And if something is innately part of our design, there must be an answer for it.
Surprise! The answer is God. Well, maybe it’s not such a surprise, but let’s take a moment to consider some things. We know that we were created in the image of God, and we also know that God is love. So, if we were created in His image, then we were created in the image of love. We also learn that we were created for worship—which, as we explored in a previous blog post, is deeply tied to love.
We are God’s creation, but sin caused separation between us and Him. So, we were created in the image of love, for love and worship, and to be in constant relationship with God—yet that relationship was severed. From the moment of birth, we were disconnected from our Father. In a natural sense, when newborns are separated from their mothers, they scream in unrelenting, agonizing pain. Whether we acknowledge it or not, we are screaming in the same agony when we allow ourselves to remain separated from our Father.
In His infinite wisdom and knowledge of His creation, God made a way for us to be reconciled to Him. Through the greatest sacrifice, He gave everything just so we could know Him again. We often talk about "wanting to be wanted" and "being loved unconditionally, no matter what." At the heart of these desires, what we’re truly seeking is to experience the love of God.
we are hard-wired with the desire to be loved and connected.
The love of God, revealed to us through Christ, is unlike any love we experience on earth. It’s impossible to truly love or understand how to love without knowing God. In our human nature, we are often performative and manipulative, selfish and self-seeking. We love out of convenience and ease. Before we give love, there usually has to be some sort of value added—a reason or benefit for us to show love.
And when we receive love without having to work or strive for it, we often reject it. The idea that someone could love us "just because" feels foreign. Being loved when we’re selfish, hurting others, or just a mess can feel embarrassing. Once again, we can’t take credit for it. We have nothing to offer, yet we are loved consistently and endlessly.
“For you know that you were not redeemed from your useless [spiritually unproductive] way of life inherited [by tradition] from your forefathers with perishable things like silver and gold, but [you were actually purchased] with precious blood, like that of a [sacrificial] lamb unblemished and spotless, the priceless blood of Christ.” 1 peter 1:18-19 [amp]
Let’s make it plain: God loves you. Even when you are empty-handed, helpless, and hurting Him, He loves you. Now, let’s dive into some scriptures that further reveal the depth of this love.
Romans 5:6-8 “While we were still helpless [powerless to provide for our salvation], at the right time Christ died [as a substitute] for the ungodly. Now it is an extraordinary thing for one to willingly give his life even for an upright man, though perhaps for a good man [one who is noble and selfless and worthy] someone might even dare to die. But God clearly shows and proves His own love for us, by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
While we were unable to do anything right or good in His eyes, Christ died for you and me. Right now as you are reading, in sin or obedience, acknowledging Him as Father or denying Him, He died for you already.
Notice the separation between man and Christ. Man needs a reason or to see value in order to make a sacrifice[i.e dying for someone who is noble or good]. God sacrificed His son while, in the middle of, during, our foolishness.
He did not die at the point of you coming to know Him. He didn’t die at the point of you repenting from sin. HE DIED BEFORE YOU KNEW HIM.
The evidence of God’s love for us is proven, revealed, and experienced through Christ Jesus.
Ephesians 2:4-5 “But God, being [so very] rich in mercy, because of His great and wonderful love with which He loved us, even when we were [spiritually] dead and separated from Him because of our sins, He made us [spiritually] alive together with Christ (for by His grace—His undeserved favor and mercy—you have been saved from God’s judgment).”
Whose great love and rich mercy produced an action in Him? God’s.
Who was made us alive together with Christ even while we were dead? God.
Since we were spiritually dead when God showed His love for us through Christ it is clear that we did not do anything to get it.
Trying to earn what God gave to us for free is insulting.
John 3:16-17 “For God so [greatly] loved and dearly prized the world, that He [even] gave His [One and] only begotten Son, so that whoever believes and trusts in Him [as Savior] shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge and condemn the world [that is, to initiate the final judgment of the world], but that the world might be saved through Him.
Because of His great love for you and divine value He placed in you, He gave His Son’s life for you.
Let us not forget—Jesus died instead of you and me.
God does not want to separated from us. He wants us to have eternal life with Him.
2 Peter 2:9 “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a consecrated nation, a [special] people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies [the wonderful deeds and virtues and perfections] of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. Once you were not a people [at all], but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.”
emphasis on “a special people for God’s own possession”. There is a family available for you. There is true belonging promised to you. All of the acceptance, validation, and love is revealed to us through accepting Christ as Lord.
Through His death He has opened the door of life and salvation. Through His death He has called you home to Himself. We choose to answer or ignore His call.
Hebrews 3:14-15 “For we [believers] have become partakers of Christ [sharing in all that the Messiah has for us], if only we hold firm our newborn confidence [which originally led us to Him] until the end, while it is said,“Today [while there is still opportunity] if you hear His voice, Do not harden your heart, as when they provoked Me [in the rebellion in the desert at Meribah].”
Partaker means sharing in; a partner (in a work, office, or dignity).
How do we remain partakers of Christ? By intentionally holding firm to newborn confidence we found in Him.
When you hear the voice of God—do not ignore Him. Today is the day of salvation!
“so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through your faith. And may you, having been [deeply] rooted and [securely] grounded in love, be fully capable of comprehending with all the saints (God’s people) the width and length and height and depth of His love [fully experiencing that amazing, endless love].” Ephesians 3:17-18
The complete revelation of God’s love doesn’t occur at the moment of salvation. Honestly, I’m not sure we ever fully grasp His love; perhaps it’s one of those things about Him that is continually and gently revealed to us through our submission and connection to Him.
What I do know is that our own shame, guilt, and pride often keep us from daring to learn or see just how much God loves us. In Corinthians, we learn that love never fails. From God’s example, we understand that true love produces action—in the heart of both the giver and the receiver. His love moved Him to save us. And when we allow it, His love grounds and secures us in Christ, empowering us to fulfill His perfect will and plan.
We’ve been taught, through both words and actions, that how well we are loved depends on who we are or what we can do. What can I do so this person will love me? What do I have to do for them to see value in me? But God, at the very moment of creating you, already saw value in you. God, from the beginning, has loved you endlessly. And through scripture, we find that love plainly and consistently, from the beginning until the very end.
As we reflect on the endless and boundless love of our Father consider the following questions:
How does your experience with love with others affect your approach to God’s love?
Are you trying to work for God’s love through acts or good deeds?
What is keeping you from experiencing the fullness of God’s love through Christ?
