WISDOM AND THINGS
When my brother asked, “When did you stop thinking?” during my last relationship, I started to evaluate my choices more carefully. Daniel, much like our mother, had hated everyone I’d dated. I used to chalk it up to his instinctual brotherly nature, brushing off his opinions—until my last breakup.
By this time, Daniel had just arrived in prison, and his calls were so frequent that I expected to hear from him every morning. That day was no different. After tossing everything from my hands to the passenger seat, I saw a 419 number flash across my phone. He started by telling me about a dream he had, then vented about a CO who pissed him off. We laughed for a while, but then came the stretch of silence—a tell-tale sign he was about to say something serious.
“You are valuable and you’re priceless,” he said plainly. “You need to make wiser choices.”
I stayed quiet.
“Do you think any of the women I date have to ask me to do things for them?” he asked rhetorically. “Men do instinctively. If he isn’t making your life easier, why is he around you?”
There was another pause. “Look, you need to pray for wisdom before you get into another relationship.”
I laughed, thanking him for his encouragement while mentally noting that maybe—just maybe—this time I’d heed his advice.
Not much later, Credo and I started dating. On the first date, he brought me a Whatchamacallit because I’d never had one. By the second date, he brought me wine and my favorite chips. Every week, he did or offered something thoughtful, and as I recounted these moments to Daniel during our talks, he’d just listen—laughing at some things and showing approval for others.
Although they haven’t met yet, there’s something about them that intersects. Growing up, Daniel was obsessed with the story of Solomon. Enamored by Solomon’s choice for wisdom above all else, that became Daniel’s daily prayer. Credo, equally obsessed with the book of Proverbs [which is written by Solomon], also admires Solomon’s wisdom and prays for the same. And in their advice to me, both have consistently urged me to pursue and ask for wisdom daily.
Reflecting on this, I realized how easy it is to confuse earthly knowledge for wisdom. In fact, after years of pursuing education or knowledge, a certain level of intellectualism tends to emerge. If we're not careful, faith and heavenly wisdom can start to feel like abstract ideas—mere words sprinkled with fairy dust—while earthly wisdom and logic become the foundation upon which we build our lives. Yet, any "wisdom" we think we've acquired outside of the Word of God is ultimately considered foolishness in comparison.
“Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight.” isaiah 5:21 [niv]
In the midst of my reflections on wisdom I had a conversation with my mother about men and how they express themselves, she told me plainly, “You need to learn to shut up.”. Confused, partly because modern language about women doesn’t exactly call for silence, I just stared at her. “Did he ask for your opinion?” she continued. “It’s not that what you think isn’t important, but if he isn’t ready to receive it, what use is it to him? And is your goal to be helpful, or just to say something that sounds good?”
That conversation lingered with me. Later, when I brought it up with my dad, we somehow circled back to the fact that mass media and biblical truth will never align. Both my parents reminded me that there’s always a danger in interpreting scripture through the lens of worldly wisdom. If we don’t know or haven’t read what God calls true wisdom, we risk letting the world define it for us.
And the world is constantly trying to define things for us—womanhood, manhood, success, failure, wealth. We are bombarded with messages daily about who and what we should be. But as followers of Christ, we already have the perfect image and example to follow. Scripture informs us about everything pertaining to life and godliness. It’s further proof that the true wisdom we seek will only ever be found in the Word of God.
“for the lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.” proverbs 2:6
In scripture, we find clear distinctions between the thoughts of God and our own. Time and time again, we are reminded of our limitations in understanding and knowledge compared to His infinite wisdom. We are also made aware of the ruler of this world, whose deceptive precepts act as traps, slowly pulling us away from the light of the Kingdom and into darkness. This constant battle between divine truth and worldly deceit reveals just how critical it is for us to anchor ourselves in God's Word. Let’s further explore characteristics of true wisdom through scripture.
James 3:13-18 “Who among you is wise and intelligent? Let him by his good conduct show his [good] deeds with the gentleness and humility of true wisdom.
What are some characteristics of true wisdom?
Gentleness and humility. We learn in Galatians that gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit which further proves wisdom can’t be achieved without the Holy Spirit. We also learn in Philippians that we should all be mirroring the humility in Christ in our day to day lives. This further proves that there is a link between our revelation of wisdom and our submission to be made like Christ.
True wisdom is shown through good conduct and deeds. Good is defined as: beautiful by reason of purity of heart and life, genuine, or approved. The only way we achieve purity and approval is through the sanctification that happens in our relationship with Christ.
But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not be arrogant, and [as a result] be in defiance of the truth. This [superficial] wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly (secular), natural (unspiritual), even demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder [unrest, rebellion] and every evil thing and morally degrading practice. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder [unrest, rebellion] and every evil thing and morally degrading practice.
What are the characteristics of superficial wisdom?
Bitter jealousy, selfish ambition, defiance, and arrogance. Arrogance which can also be known as pride introduces stubbornness, rebellion, and intellectualism into our hearts. Also, any “wisdom” that has our benefit and purpose at the heart of it is a good indicator it is not heavenly wisdom.
Earthly, natural, and demonic. Satan is the ruler of this world. Meaning a lot of the messaging we get in society and from media is fleshly, demonic, and unspiritual.
But the wisdom from above is first pure [morally and spiritually undefiled], then peace-loving [courteous, considerate], gentle, reasonable [and willing to listen], full of compassion and good fruits. It is unwavering, without [self-righteous] hypocrisy [and self-serving guile]. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness (spiritual maturity) is sown in peace by those who make peace [by actively encouraging goodwill between individuals].
What are the characteristics of Godly wisdom?
Pure, peace-loving, gentle, reasonable, compassionate, and full good fruits. Worldly wisdom will tell you to “match energy” and to only engage with others and situations that are easy to contend with. God says differently.
Unwavering, humble, righteousness, spiritually mature, and peaceful. It is impossible to glean true wisdom without humility. For those of us who don’t heed the council or leadership of others [trusted advisors, loved ones, spiritual family] we are lacking in humility and we need to find some quick.
"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." james 1:5 [niv]
In many of the conversations I had before moving to Zambia, everyone suggested waiting a year before trying for a baby. “Give yourself time to find your footing as a wife,” they said. “Get to know each other first as a couple.” “Maybe moving across the world as a pregnant newlywed isn’t a good idea.” Pridefully and full of optimism, we did the exact opposite. We assumed that transitioning into marriage, parenthood, and business would be seamless and easy. How I wish I could go back in time and slap myself for being so naive.
It’s incredibly hard to listen to wisdom when you believe you’ve already achieved it. It’s even harder to remain a disciple and student of the Word when you think you’ve mastered it. The truth is, we don’t really know that much. What little wisdom we do gain has been through the kindness and mercy of God. If we could obtain wisdom on our own, we wouldn’t need to ask for it. If we were equipped to do life our own way, we wouldn’t need God. But the reality is, we need Him desperately—to move, to breathe, to obey, to righteously live, and to experience the true wisdom that only comes through His Spirit. So, let’s ask for more of it this week. Humbly and eagerly approach God’s throne with an expectation for Him to quickly meet us and give us the divine wisdom only achieved through Him.
