THE GOLDEN RULE
In a moment of prayer, I remember tattling on Credo to God, assuming He would come to my rescue or somehow correct him in a way that would be satisfying to witness. But before I could even finish, a thought scurried across my mind: Credo will beat himself up worse than you or I ever could. Why do you want Me to? It was a moment of clarity, one that had started happening regularly. Every time I brought something to God about him, He would turn the mirror on me, revealing something dark in my own heart. Eventually, my prayers were not about telling God how to deal with son, but how to reveal him to me in a way that allows me to approach him with the same love He does.
One day during our honeymoon in Puerto Rico, we were having a beach day, which had quickly become part of our routine. We’d cycle through all the usual beach activities: beach bumming, swimming [for him] and pretend swimming [for me], plus some volleyball. At one point, he and some of our friends began snorkeling while I watched along the water’s edge, convinced someone was going to be swallowed by a whale or shark as they explored further and further out. One by one they emerged from the water like shriveled raisins, and we picked up our volleyball again. After about 45 minutes, Credo suddenly blurted out, “My ring.. I don’t have my ring.”
We naturally split into teams, combing through the sand and wading back into the ocean. We all knew the chances of finding the ring were slim to none, but it didn’t stop us from trying. Eventually, with his shoulders hunched in disappointment, Credo surfaced from the water.
“Baby, I’m sorry,” I said as he helped me up from the sand. “I know you loved your ring.”
“No, I’m sorry... I should’ve just taken it off like I usually do,” he said, shaking his head.
Truthfully, I barely had enough money to buy him a ring in the first place. Making payments on a ring that was now somewhere in the ocean was frustrating, but in that moment, I had a choice: I could make him feel worse, or I could just love on him because I knew he needed it.
“If you didn’t want to be with me, you could’ve just said so—you didn’t have to throw your ring in the ocean,” I teased, giving him a playful push.
He lightened up, pulling me into his chest with a sigh.
“We can get you another,” I whispered into his chest. “I’d get you 50 rings.”
On the ride home, he turned to me and admitted, "I don’t think I would have the same grace for you if the situation were flipped." I laughed, immediately reminded of the prayer from weeks ago. Just like me, something dark in him had been revealed in the presence of light. I wished I could take credit for it, but I knew it was only God proving to me a few things. First, I need Him to love and know my husband well. Second, responding to others in the same manner He does naturally draws people to Him. And lastly, out of the overflow of the grace, forgiveness, and love He has given to me, I am able to freely and quickly give it to others.
the revelation of authentic grace and love should be a frequent experience for anyone who encounters a believer.
Growing up with a father whose gentleness and meekness followed him from room to room, I had an additional model of what mercy and grace looked like. Although God may have created me with a natural inclination to extend grace, I believe my father’s intentional example allowed me to fully and freely lean into it without shame or embarrassment.
Even with a natural inclination to extend grace, I can only do it for so long in my own strength before I’m exhausted and burnt out. From that place of exhaustion and self-reliance, people have encountered contempt instead of patience, anger instead of love, and pride instead of vulnerability. The kind of love that shifts attitudes, softens hearts, and inspires real change—it comes from God. As children of God, in moments of betrayal, hurt, or carelessness, if we are willing, we can extend the same love that God has given to us through Christ, while experiencing firsthand the depth of what it took and takes for Him to continuously love and extend grace to us on a daily basis.
“Above all, have fervent and unfailing love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins [it overlooks unkindness and unselfishly seeks the best for others].” 1 peter 4:8 [amp]
In withholding grace or forgiveness from others there is a desire for them to feel shame or sorrow to the same degree we feel betrayal or hurt. It’s a self-righteous and accusatory attitude that we put on to vindicate our bruised or hurt feelings. But in Matthew, Jesus describes the attitude we should have towards people. He tells us to forget an “eye for an eye”, and instead love our enemies and pray for those who hurt us. He encourages and empowers us through His own example to turn the other cheek, to forgive as He has forgiven, and to consider the darkness in us before we call out the darkness in another. Jesus petitions us to extend what we have been freely and frequently given—to love as He loves, forgives as He forgives, and to see people as He sees them. Let’s further explore the way we are called to deal with others as followers of Christ.
Colossians 3:12 “So, as God’s own chosen people, who are holy [set apart, sanctified for His purpose] and well-beloved [by God Himself], put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience [which has the power to endure whatever injustice or unpleasantness comes, with good temper];”
Knowing who we are and who we belong to empowers and encourages us to pursue what we are called to do.
We are chosen, holy, set apart, and well loved by God. Our divine identity revealed to us through Christ is lived out through our knowledge and revelation of Him.
“Put on” is an action. Indicating that there is effort and consistent commitment to doing so.
Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience are all the fruit of a person chosen, holy, set apart, and well loved by God.
“His mercy endures forever” “It (Love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres”. Enduring, protecting, persevering takes strength. It is courageous and strong and challenging to choose compassion, gentleness, love and grace.
Colossians 3:13 “bearing graciously with one another, and willingly forgiving each other if one has a cause for complaint against another; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so should you forgive.”
Bearing means: to suffer, to hold up, to endure.
God had every reason for cause and complaint against us, yet He came to us by becoming a man, revealed Himself to us through Christ, and willingly offered His once and for all forgiveness through the death and resurrection of Christ. And we try to make other people beg for our forgiveness? Please.
Have you considered the lengths that God has gone to forgive you and be reconciled with you? It is our duty to live in and extend the love, forgiveness, grace and mercy, illustrated through the life of Christ to all people.
Colossians 3:14 “Beyond all these things put on and wrap yourselves in [unselfish] love, which is the perfect bond of unity [for everything is bound together in agreement when each one seeks the best for others].”
What is the perfect bond of unity? Love.
How are we able to be bound together in agreement? Love.
What are called to put on and wrap ourselves in? LOVE.
What caused Christ to die for us? Love.
What caused God to sacrifice His son for us? LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.
Colossians 3:15 “Let the peace of God [the inner calm of one who walks daily with Him] be the controlling factor in your hearts [deciding and settling questions that arise]. To this peace indeed you were called as members in one body [of believers]. And be thankful [to God always].
Scripture confirms scripture! Philippians 4:7 states, “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Colossians 3:16-17 “Let the [spoken] word of Christ have its home within you [dwelling in your heart and mind—permeating every aspect of your being] as you teach [spiritual things] and admonish and train one another with all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God.”
In order to teach, encourage, or train fellow believers or curious hearts about the word of Christ (The Gospel) you have to know Him and you have to know His word.
Colossians 3:18 “Whatever you do [no matter what it is] in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus [and in dependence on Him], giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”
Whatever action we take in life is a reflection of who and what has our hearts.
As a believer, everything you do should be giving, revealing, or displaying the glory of God.
Our gratitude to God can be shown through the words or deeds we do.
“set your mind and keep focused habitually on the things above [the heavenly things], not on things that are on earth [which have only temporal value].” colossians 3:2 [amp]
The sanctification I’m experiencing in marriage isn’t just for Credo. My desire to love him, to be in right standing with him, to forgive easily and quickly, and to love him well and specifically may seem romantic—but I’m called to love everyone this way. I’m called to forgive everyone. I’m called to be gentle and compassionate, slow to speak and slow to anger, and quick to endure for the sake of love, so that others may know love through my example.
In a very candid conversation with my mom I kind of just blurted, “People are actually going to go to hell.” She nodded, referencing some scripture I can’t really remember now, but I felt weighty. Considering all the times I ignored the Holy Spirit prompting me to tell someone, Jesus loves you, or refusing to choose stillness for the sake of having the last word. How many people might want to know God less—or not at all—because of my representation of Him? How have my responses or selfish interest kept someone from truly wanting to experience God?
It’s arrogant—and honestly, low key hateful—to deny people an authentic encounter with Christ because of fear or indifference or flat out disobedience. People are literally dying and going to hell every single day and we just watch. People are face down ready to die because they don’t know any other way to be. But we do! We know the better way, the best way, the only way to be. We know of a love that has snatched us out and continuously keeps us out of darkness. Yet, we sit with our legs crossed and lips closed, like we don’t have the best news in the world to share.
People are without hope and without love. Literally leaking with shame and hatred for themselves, not knowing who they are or who created them. But, as followers of Christ, children of God, we know. People experience Christ in part and become curious of His heart and sacrifice, through the way we live and love others, how we handle believers and unbelievers, and by our character and fruit. The way you live matters. The way you love matters. The way you approach people matter. The way you represent Christ matters. So, let’s tighten it up and allow ourselves to be continuously made new through Christ, and share the love and grace we have been freely given with anyone we see and meet.
