BEST FATHER AWARD
My sophomore year of college a guy I was kind of dating wrecked my car on our way home from work. Let’s say this happened on a Monday, by Friday, my dad arrived at my school with a new car for me. I didn’t ask nor was I expecting him to get me another car, but I wasn’t at all surprised when I saw him outside of the Student Union calling me over to him.
The guy I was seeing at the time made comments and jokes periodically about me being entitled and spoiled. Telling me I didn’t know how to work for anything and depended on my dad for everything. Laughing, I responded, “Am I supposed to apologize for having a dad who actually shows up?”.
It wasn’t just him. Even in middle school and high school, people noticed my dad’s character. Uncle Danny to some, Dan the man to others, but a man of his word to all. Dependable and quick to serve to all. Lover and provisioner to all. I wish he could teach a class on fatherhood because if there was a father of the year award, he would eat every last one of y’all daddies up. I would go dad for dad with anybody.
It didn’t matter the context, request, time of day or night— if I needed anything, he was showing up. In my youth, this made me a bit thoughtless and maybe even inconsiderate at times, because of the assurance and faith I had in him. Why stand on my own two feet if I could rest in his arms? Why choose the burden of “always figuring it out” when I had a father who was always in it with me? There has always been a level of ease I operated in because of him.
I hope it was painfully obvious where this was going, but if not, here it is: if my father—a fallible and flawed man—is worthy of my complete faith and trust, how much more is God, the Father of fathers, worthy of my complete faith and trust?
god is the safest place to bury your heart and complete reliance.
“It’s God’s job to take care of me,” my mom said. “It’s not my business how He does it.” I laughed, realizing how her attitude towards God mirrored my own attitude towards my dad growing up. In that moment, I felt a familiar pull, a sense of wonder, urging me to discover God as Father in a more intimate way.
Our experiences with fatherhood, whatever they may be, naturally shape our perspective. In a previous blog post, we discussed how earthly fathers impact our relationship with love, men, and our approach to God. Let the record reflect: no matter how heavenly or hellish your experience with your father, God embodies the highest and purest level of fatherhood we can ever know.
The weight of provision, the fear and anxiety that come with the unknown, and the need for control that keeps us hard and unable to rest—these are all characteristics of a fatherless child. For those in relationships who are unable to fully trust, always trying to manipulate the pieces to ensure your own good, keeping a “just in case” plan, with one foot in and one foot out—these too are the characteristics of a fatherless child.
We often talk about “husband brain” or “boyfriend air”—that deep assurance that you’re taken care of, so much so that your brain can completely turn off. That’s the kind of reliance and assurance God desires and deserves from us. He can’t drop the ball—it’s literally against His character. He can’t abandon you—it’s against His nature. He can’t break a promise—it’s unfathomable to Him. We’ve all trusted people with far less, yet through Christ, we have the opportunity to experience the deepest level of love and security in God. So why don’t we?
“Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;And in Your book were all written The days that were appointed for me, When as yet there was not one of them [even taking shape].” psalms 139:16
The only way to trust God is to increase our knowledge of Him. Even in a natural sense, our trust and reliance, faith and willingness to rest in relationships hinges upon evidence, closeness, and knowledge of who they are. As we explore scripture regarding the character of God, don’t let it fall flat, but in prayer ask the Holy Spirit to reveal God as your specific father.
Matthew 7:7-11 [AMP] “Ask and keep on asking and it will be given to you; seek and keep on seeking and you will find; knock and keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you.”
What are we learning about God’s fatherhood through these scriptures?
He knows our voice specifically. There are a million people praying to Him everyday, and He knows the exact sound, cadence, rhythm of your voice. A million people can be crying and He could pick yours out. He is close to you, He knows you, and He will answer you.
He is reliable. If you look for Him you will find Him. He’s not playing hide and seek. He isn’t bread crumbing you just to disappear when you finally let your guard down. He is present, trustworthy, and safe.
He is responsive. He is always available to you. What does this mean? If you call, He is there. If you need to be in His presence, He is there. If you need Him to remind you who you are, He is there. He isn’t too busy for you. Every time you knock, He is there to open the door.
“For everyone who keeps on asking receives, and he who keeps on seeking finds, and to him who keeps on knocking, it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will [instead] give him a stone?”
He is trustworthy. Jesus isn’t telling us to ask, seek, or knock once. He is urging us to be in constant pursuit. Why? Because He knows we will never be let down by God.
He is not a reflection of man. We know that only good things come from God. Your father, however good or excellent, is that way because of God
“Or if he asks for a fish, will [instead] give him a snake? If you then, evil (sinful by nature) as you are, know how to give good and advantageous gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven [perfect as He is] give what is good and advantageous to those who keep on asking Him.”
He is not a reflection of your father. Your father, however hellish and unpredictable, is not a reflection of God.
He is the perfect father. God created you and knows you specifically and more deeply than anybody ever could. He doesn’t guess what you need, He knows. He doesn’t guess about what is good, He knows. He doesn’t guess how to handle you, He knows.
Matthew 6:25-26 [AMP] “Therefore I tell you, stop being worried or anxious (perpetually uneasy, distracted) about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, as to what you will wear. Is life not more than food, and the body more than clothing?
He can handle complete control of your life. Our necessities in life are completely covered and handled as His child.
He has more in store for you. The basis of our life isn’t about figuring out how we will survive. He is our father. That’s His lane and His responsibility.
“Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow [seed] nor reap [the harvest] nor gather [the crops] into barns, and yet your heavenly Father keeps feeding them. Are you not worth much more than they?”
What does this scripture tell us about how we should respond to God’s fatherhood?
We can fully trust in His ability to parent us well. God is not empty-handed. He takes perfect care of everything He creates.
You can mind your business. God doesn’t need your help in provisioning for you. He has other fish for you to fry. Stay in a kid’s place.
We can believe in His heart towards us. Y’all.. if He is taking good care of the birds, how much more will He take good care of you? The part of creation made in His image and likeness.
Matthew 6:30-32 [AMP] “But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive and green today and tomorrow is [cut and] thrown [as fuel] into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!
What do we learn about God’s fatherhood through these scriptures?
His provision for us is endless. Again, God is not like our parents. He didn’t accidentally create you. He isn’t going to run out of resources to take care of you.
He takes good care of His creation. The grass doesn’t go without. Flies and bees don’t go without. Why would you?
“Therefore do not worry or be anxious (perpetually uneasy, distracted), saying, ‘What are we going to eat?’ or ‘What are we going to drink?’ or ‘What are we going to wear?’ For the [pagan] Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; [but do not worry,] for your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
His children are a priority. Worry and anxiety is the response of someone who hasn’t been well taken care of. If we allow God to be our Father He can renew our hearts and minds, redefining what it means to be a child that is well known, loved, and cared for.
His children can experience ease. The privilege of serving a God who created and knows everything is ease. You can mind the business He gives you because He has the Father business handled.
“What is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? You have made them a little lower than the angels and crowned them with glory and honor.” Psalms 8:4-5 [NIV]
I can’t imagine a life without Daniel Nathan Allen Jr. I could weep just thinking about it. I can’t fully grasp the heartbreak of not having him in my life. Similarly, I can’t imagine the heartbreak that comes with believing fathers are optional, unnecessary, or simply not needed. I reference my mom a lot in my posts, but the man she chose to be my father has changed my life time and time again. I am a better woman because I know him. A better wife because of him. A better, more loving person because of who he has been to me. The impact of fathers on their children is unmatched. Again, my father isn’t perfect—but how his love has shaped and moved me has changed my whole life. How much more will my perfect Father and Creator change me? How much more can He love and perfect me? How much more does He think and plan for me? How much more has He intentionally been involved and present in my moments? God is our first and truest Father.
We don’t have to live life without a father. Whether you’ve had an amazing father, an average one, or even a less-than-memorable experience, God longs to be a perfect Father to you. He wants you to experience what true childhood feels like—asking and being answered, seeking and finding, knocking and being invited in for more forever.
Imagine knowing with complete and utter assurance that the weight of life isn’t yours to carry. There is a love specific to each and every need you will ever have. There is provision assigned to each day of your life already. Can you believe it and trust it? That the God of the entire universe is your Father and He wants you to know Him this way. Don’t wait or waste another day. The Father of your dreams is alive and waiting with His arms open and lap ready right now.
